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  • Ruby Gaines

NOBODY REALLY KNOWS WHAT THE FUCK THEY ARE DOING.

Let me dip you into a little ditty about me. I used to play music under the name Megan Airlie. An MC name my mother gave me at birth. In 2019, I had a few bad experiences in music and my depression on top of that had me set on the idea of quitting music altogether. A part of this decision was made up of something that I can bet everyone has experienced which is comparing myself to others and feeling deeply insecure about it.


With the help of some friends, I was reminded of something I had learnt before but had lost the grasp of; Everyone is literally freaking out and are just making it by as best they can. So, to compare oneself to another is futile. NOBODY REALLY KNOWS WHAT THE FUCK THEY ARE DOING.


This was a blessing clicked into view not too long ago. It was as liberating as any hungover defecation. You know, like something that is bound to come out but is still never really planned for. Unexpected but ultimately good.


There is no pin on the point for this moment, but my comprehension of this revelation is a theme of my late 20s. This is one of the many reasons that I enjoy getting older. I never want to be the person I was last year – she was carrying the latter fucks still. To know that everyone is just flailing around and stringing about some puppet smile with the inherent fear of the unknown within them is tremendously comforting.

I was a taciturn woman, but the older I get, the more I want to scream at everyone


“WE’RE ALL SAME, DOING THE SAME THING. WE’RE ALL STRESSED OUT MEAT STICKS.”


We are stoating about, grasping onto anything that welcomes the grip. This realisation is absolutely delicious to come upon in your 20s. It takes some pressure off you which is most welcomed. Society’s old schtick of pummelling pressure into people most poor or privileged is much too much. Rebelling against this pressure could be as simple as laying on the grass, head cupped by hands, showing off those ivories despite the fact you just don’t fucking know what you’re doing. You smile because they don’t either. You will get what you need in time if you see it through. Take it easy. Jackson Browne specifically told us to.

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RUBY GAINES 2020